Lately, I have had the tendencies to explore places on my own. For far too long, I have allowed toxic and negative thoughts cloud over me. I have only been able to see the worst in things, situations, and people. I never actually realized the repercussions of it until now when I am left with almost nothing - a toxic relationship and also a negative mentality that I will never get a job.

“The adrenaline of driving through wilderness by myself really empowered me. I halted all the negative thoughts fighting to break out from my mind. I felt strength. ”

However, a therapeutic way to deal with such negativity is to branch out and go explore places on my own, without the need to worry about the pressure other people are giving, the judgments and so on. Last Monday, when I found out I was laid off from the startup, I honestly did not even have time to comprehend what had just happened. I tried to only focus on telling myself that it wasn't my fault they ran out of funds. I am a talented young developer and designer. I need to be confident in myself. I seeked solitude and that definitely benefited me more than ever.

I had the car for the weekend (don't ask me why) and decided to drive along US 101. I made it all the way to Cannon Beach, Oregon because I really wanted to see the Haystack Rock, especially shortly after I saw the amazingness of it through the lens of Instagram. It was a 4 hour drive to Cannon Beach, and another four hours back. At some point, I have lost signal on my phone. The only thing that held me back slightly was I haven't really told anybody I was going to take this trip. The drive was mostly in pretty terrible conditions. What if this is the time that my life would be taken away? At the same time, I was eager to see the Haystack Rock. The adrenaline of driving through wilderness by myself really empowered me. I halted all the negative thoughts fighting to break out from my mind. I felt strength.

“But for now, I lean on exploration, I lean on spontaneous road trips, and I lean on admiring the beauty of nature as a way to deal with unprecedented obstacles.”

I suppose the lesson learned here is that there could be really bad situations, and really bad things happening all at once. Do whatever it takes to pull yourself out of the pit. I've thrown myself so many pity parties that I have lost count and even have people tell me other things that are not along the lines of 'Oh, I am so sorry that happened to you'. I am trying to train my mind to have the strength and ability to overcome adversity and negativity. I want it in the most natural way possible because I know certain things cannot be forced. I have been confronting fears and everything else in between. The only piece that is missing are the healthy mechanisms to cope with them. But for now, I lean on exploration, I lean on spontaneous road trips, and I lean on admiring the beauty of nature as a way to deal with unprecedented obstacles.

How I Cope with Negativity (In Progress)