Epiphany - Part I
“The point is, setbacks are not just a part of life, but they are essential for personal growth, as long as we are able to learn from our setbacks and improve ourselves. Most of life’s important lessons are not learned through success, but failure”.
This quote is like a lifetime gift from my father.
Up until today, it remains extremely valid and relevant. It remains as one of the most inspiration and motivational quotations. I don't quite remember the exact context of how it was presented to me. Growing up, I was a troubled kid. I wasn't troubled to the extent that I had the dream of running away from home one day. But I was troubled that I wanted to rebel against every single thing including societal norms and even 'family norms'. Nonetheless, I remember it was a period in high school when I was going through a constant level of stress - friends, college applications, and in attempt to score extremely well in my SATs and completing the International Baccalaureate Diploma Program.
In high school, I found myself in the worst position I have ever been in my life (of course, it's hard to say what life has in store for me in the future). It's safe to say though, at a tender age of 18, it seemed like everything was going to fall apart. I had very little friends. And I had problems communicating with my parents and even my sister, whom I've always trusted and been honest with. But no, I completely disconnected with reality. I was depressed. I was depressed because I felt like a failure. Growing up, I've always been audacious and experimental, or even talented. I entered speech competitions, took part in piano recitals even though I was a pretty damn terrible piano player, organized a fundraising concert that benefit a non-profit organization aimed to help children to name a few accomplishments. My experience in high school could be regarded as very cliché. I mean, I transferred to another school upon graduating middle school. I had to adapt to a new environment. Everyone was so much cooler at my high school – they were rich and they pretty owned whatever they wanted. They had laptops and cellphones, and were wearing the most fashionable items during that time. I was different. I was different in a bad way. I wasn’t different because I was experimental and fearless. I was different because there was no way in the world that I could own the things they had. I was different simply because I was not cool.
To keep things short, I fell deep into depression. I lost even more friends because I was feeling depressed. I was lonely. My family refused to listen to me anymore because they said all I did was to complain and declined to help myself. They were right. I refused to find the ways to pick myself up. All I wanted was somebody to pity me. All I wanted was to wake up one morning and everything would resume normal. I refused to help myself.
To be continued.