In Reality.

Here I am again. Sitting in front my computer. With a billion thoughts penetrating that tiny brain of mine. I feel like I've been at this fork on the road over and over again. It's like I keep trying to find a way out but I always end up at the same spot. The feeling is defeating and frustrating yet the uncertainties are giving me a rare glimpse of hope. I use the word rare because I have always identified myself as a somewhat 'too rational' individual and you know what? That isn't always a good thing. 

I've been seriously contemplating about quitting one of my day jobs to dedicate more time into finding another job. It seems a lot easier for me to talk about the things I want to be doing in terms of getting back to graphic design and web development. But at the same time, there is this whole gap in between reality and dreams that I have to close up. I suppose that is my current main concern because i don't necessarily know if I have the capability to really close the gap.

But really, I think this might my time to shine. I need to stop telling myself that just because I am currently in a comfortable position in terms of being somewhat financially capable, doesn't mean that I want to be stuck in retail forever. If I wait a little longer and work for another year or two with the company I am currently with, I might be rewarded at a later time. But I want things to happening right now and in order for them to happen, I need dedicated time to build up my portfolio and of course, revisit the long lost web development skills I obtained roughly 4 months ago. Essentially, I need to reignite that passion that catapulted me into audaciously taking 3 months off work to submerge in a brand new field. I don't want to put all that effort to waste. I don't want to fall victim to comfort. I am indeed trying to rediscover that person I was roughly a decade ago - having the urge and willingness to take risks and chase my dreams.